Undead yes, unperson no!
by Draco the Lizard
Summary: This is a crossover, with the Discworld, so ye be warned! Zombie drops in, and tells the vampires to have a revolution! Lucky for the Scoobies, they get their share of Discworld 'help'. [Oneshot, expect no sequel]
1. Let's explain something.

"Undead yes, unperson no!"   
  
Since this is going to be a Buffy/Discworld crossover, and there's probably some people who don't know what the Discworld is,   
let me explain in this little chapter. If you do know what the Discworld, and who Reg Shoe, Otto Chriek and the Wizards of   
the Unseen University are, go to the next chapter. If not, stay here.  
  
The Discworld is a disc on four elephants who stand on a turtle who swims through space. It's very weird and strange, and   
mostly humorous. But the Disc itself isn't that important in this fic, since it takes place in the Buffy-universe. The   
characters matter, so let me tell you about the characters I've borrowed from Terry Pratchett, the man who created Discworld   
and all its crazy inhabitants.  
  
Reg Shoe: He's a zombie with revolutinary ideas. His goal is for vampires, zombies, werewolves and all other monsters to   
have the same rights as humans. He tries to achieve this by handing out folders, singing rousing songs and spraying catchy   
motto's on unsuspecting walls.   
  
Otto Chriek: A vampire. But this one doesn't drink blood anymore, and is fascinated by flash photography, which is quite   
dangerous for a vampire. He's a photographer for a newspaper, and uses fire salamanders for his flashes, that suck up the   
sunlight and emit it when the light is needed. This also causes Otto to crumble into dust whenever he uses the flash.   
Luckily, he always carries some blood with him, in case of emergencies. He also has the traditional vampire accent.  
  
The Wizards of the UU.   
These aren't your everyday Gandalf-like wizards, mind you. Sure, they know spells and occasionally mess about with the   
occult, but they prefer to eat big amounts of food, and not doing anything, especially teaching. Mustrum Ridcully, the   
current Archchancellor, is a bit different. He likes hunting and running laps, which the other wizards find unhealthy. In   
this story, the Dean, the Senior Wrangler, Ponder Stibbons, the Bursar, and Ridcully are involved. The Dean and the SW are   
the traditional eating wizards, Ponder is a young research-wizard who is interested in, well, anything and the Bursar, who   
is a bit crazy. You'll see. These aren't all of the wizards, I left a couple out, but otherwise it'd be too much.  
  
Oh, and for Buffy, it's set somewhere in the 6th season. Riley's gone, by the way. 


	2. Mystical Zombie Powers?

The actual story is now beginning!   
  
The characters are by Terry Pratchett, and Josh Whedon.   
  
"REG SHOE?" A voice like gravestones closing asked.  
  
"Yes?" Reg replied. He was busy thinking of new, catchy slogans for his undead person movement.  
  
"YOU ARE GIVEN A ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPURTUNITY TO TRAVEL TO ANOTHER DIMENSION TO SPREAD YOUR BELIEVES."   
  
"That's nice." Reg said, not really paying attention, but then it dawned to him. "Wait a sec, different dimension? To   
educate the undead of other world?"   
  
"UHM, YES, I SUPPOSE YOU COULD CALL IT THAT. YOU WILL BE SEND TO EARTH, TO A PLACE CALLED SUNNYDALE. THERE ARE MANY   
VAMPIRES AND OTHER SORTS OF UNDEAD THERE, SO YOU WON'T BE BORED." The voice, belonging to Death answered.   
  
"That would be very good, but how about my work here? Surely these doomed souls need to be educated as well." Reg said,   
not wanting to leave his new members standing in the cold. Seeing as he was in Hell, that would be rather difficult.  
  
"AH. WELL, I'M SURE THAT WILL BE TAKEN CARE OFF." Death crossed his fingers behind his back. This zombie had caused a lot of   
problems in the netherregeins. Getting the souls to go on a strike, handing out folders. A lot of demons had been   
complaining, and Death had given in. He would send this Reg to a different dimension, so it wouldn't be any of his business   
anymore.  
  
"Well, if you put it that way, I don't see why I shouldn't go and enlighten those poor people!  
What are you waiting for? Go on, zap me there." Reg ordered. Death snapped his fingers, and Reg awoke on a cemetery.   
  
The next morning he had found a small abandoned shed for him to live in, and a bucket of paint, with a brush, he had found   
on the streets. "Am I glad I thought om some slogans, now I can start immediately." He thought, picking up the pain and the   
brush and walked away, to look for a nice wall to cover.   
  
Buffy, on her way to the Magic Shop, passed a weird looking graffiti slogan. Instead of the usual brightly colored drawings,   
this looked painted on, with dark red paint. "Undead yes, unperson no!" She read aloud. "People get weirder and weirder   
everyday." And continued on her way.   
  
That night, while vampires stalked through the darkness, they were accosted by a strange smelling man, who pressed folders   
in their hands. "Undeads have rights to!" The man said, and left quickly after that. Some vampires read the folder, and   
found it amusing. The man believed vampires, boogeyman and others had the same rights as humans, and encouraged them to   
come to a special meeting, in three days. Others tried to eat the folders. Others tried to eat the man. Those failed. A few   
were interested, and decided to go to the meeting. One of the vampires got staked by Buffy, who picked up the folder, and   
dismissed it as some freaky Goth party.   
  
10 vampires turned up at the meeting, and Reg was pleased. "My dear brethren! Aren't we all equal? Don't we all breathe?"   
He started. One vampire raised his hand. "Yes, brother Guz?"   
  
"Uhm, I don't actually breathe, mister Shoe."   
  
"Please, call me brother Reg. But surely you CAN breathe, we all have lungs, a heart, a decent set of brains! We are very   
civilised, but humans see us as monsters, who can't control their hunger! Well, I say, that's all stereotyping. And I   
promise you, my fellow brethren, that there will be a day, or a night." He quickly added, considering he was dealing with   
vampires. "That humans, vampires, boogeyman and other creatures of the night will live in peace with eachother, with   
everyone having the same and equal rights." He ended his speech, and his public applauded. "Now gentleman, I would like to   
a sing a song to get us in the spirit! It's called: 'If you're undead and you know it, clap you hands.'   
  
These meetings turned out to be a rather great hit, and Buffy, who didn't know about this, found it strange that the   
cemetery was so empty. "They must be planning something. God, I hope they're not trying to bring the Apocalypse again." Her   
face turned grim, as always when she was forced to visit her least favourite vampire friend, Spike.  
  
"Look babe, I don't what you're talking about. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you." Buffy threw him against the wall of   
what he called home, but mostly a rotten dampy no good crypt, depending on his mood.   
  
"I know there's something going on! I haven't seen a vampire in weeks! Or any other freaky monster for that matter. So,   
confess, what are you and your bloodsucking friends upto."   
  
"They're not exactly my friends anymore, remember?" Spike said, standing up. "Look, I don't where they're all going, but   
rumour has it there's some weird zombie having meetings. That's all I know." When Buffy took out her stake and got ready to   
hit him he held up his hands. "Honest! He's in one of those abandoned sheds."   
  
"You'd better be right." She put away her stake, and went for the sheds.  
  
In Regs shed, they were singing the already infamous 'If you're undead and you know it, clap your hands.' Reg accompanied   
them with his guitar, and the song ended with him looking for his fingers and sewing them back on. "Right, brothers and   
sisters." He nodded a group of female vampires. "With that song I would like to end this..." With a crash, the door fell to   
bits, revealing the Slayer. A couple vampires attacked her instinctively, but Reg called them back. "Wait! She is human, and   
we must prove that we can be just as civilised as she!" The two vampires sat down, a bit sheepishly. "Although knocking our   
door down is very impolite. May I ask who you are?" Reg asked.   
  
"I'm Buffy. I'm the Slayer. I kill folks like you." She answered.  
  
"Why do you kill us?" Reg asked.  
  
"Because you kill humans to suck their blood, how dumb can you be!" Buffy answered, wondering why the vampires that had   
tried to attack her were sitting in their chairs, almost blushing with embarrasment.   
  
"That's stereotyping, young lady. Just because vampires have gotten a bad reputation from movies and books doesn't mean   
we're all that bad." One of the female vampires jumped in.   
  
"Well said, Sister Mary." Reg complimented her.  
  
"Not all that bad?! I've seen you! You belonged to that vamp gang I wiped out a month ago. I remember you escaping!"   
Buffy said, pointing to Sister Mary.   
  
"Whether this is true or not, I must ask you to leave, miss Buffy. This is a meeting for non-humans only." Reg said.  
  
To her own surprise, Buffy left.   
  
The next day, she visited Giles and her friends in the Magic Shop. She told about her encouter last night, and all of them   
were very surprised.  
  
"And the freakiest bit was, when I was approaching, they were singing!" Buffy said.  
  
"Wait, vampires singing? What were they singing? 'Suck me baby one more time?" Xander joked.   
  
"Of course not! It was 'If you're undead and you know it, clap your hands.'" Buffy replied.  
This caused the entire group to laugh, and Buffy interrupted. "And they actually clapped! That zombie must've used mind   
control, or hypnosis." She looked at Giles.  
  
"We-Well, there isn't that much known about zombie powers. They are said to be incredibly strong and very hard to kill,   
since they're already dead. They're pretty rare around here, most of them are in Africa, or in South America, so I have no   
experience with them, luckily, since they smell like rotten corpses." Giles said, cleaning his glasses with his sweater.   
  
"It was really smelly in there, that's true. But he didn't seem very strong to me. He looked like he could fall apart any   
minute." Buffy sat down.   
  
Willow and Tara were whispering among themselves, and they seemed to reach some sort of conclusion. "I, we have an idea."   
Willow started. "It's rather easy, all we have to do is summon someone who knows what's going on." She smiled.  
  
"Willow, if you're considering summoning a demon, I can tell you that's not a good idea."   
Giles said, a bit shocked Willow would think of that.  
  
"No, no, not a demon, silly! I mean someone who knows what's going on, like Death." Willow said, and Tara nodded.  
  
"Oh great, let's invite Death in here! Giles, I think I'd rather be dealing with some demon than Death." Buffy wasn't   
enthusiastic about this idea. Who would?  
  
"There's no real danger. I mean, Death doesn't kill people, he just sorta collects them. Demons kill people, vamps kill   
people, but not Death as a person. And like I said, it's real easy. I need two ping pong balls and an egg." Tara explained.  
  
"Two ping pong balls and an egg?" Giles looked confused. "I don't think I've heard of a ritual like that."   
  
"It's not that known, and it's the basics of the ritual. Of course, you can use as many smelly things and newt eyes as you   
want, as long as the balls are there, with the egg." Willow answered.  
  
"It's the ritual of Asch-Kentze." Tara added.  
  
The gang decided to go with this plan, although no-one seemed really comfortable with the idea. They would perform the   
ritual in Buffy's training room, since Giles didn't want them coloring with cray-on on the floor in his shop.  
  
The ritual itself went rather good, and Death did show up. The unexpected thing was, he did in the middle of Willow   
reciting, when he wasn't even supposed to show up. "YES? WHAT DO YOU WANT?" He asked.   
  
"Aaargh!" Willow screamed, surprised as the others. "What the, why are you here, I wasn't even done!"   
  
Death shrugged. "SO? NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT, I HAVE MORE TO DO TODAY."   
  
Willow tried to regain her composture. "Right. Oh, foul creature of the night, I command thee..."   
  
"WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT'S ALL THIS CREATURE OF THE NIGHT THING? JUST ASK WHAT YOU GOT TO ASK, NONE OF THIS FOUL CREATURE STUFF."   
  
"Uhm...okay. There's this zombie, and he controls vampires, and they do what he says."   
Willow said.  
  
"SO?"  
  
"Well, zombies aren't supposed to be here, and we were wondering how he got here?"  
  
"WELL, THIS ZOMBIE, REG SHOE, IT'S HARD TO EXPLAIN. HE WAS SENT HERE BECAUSE HE WAS MAKING PROBLEMS IN THE NETHERWORLD,   
AND I DECIDED TO SEND HIM HERE, SINCE THERE WERE LOTS OF VAMPIRES FOR HIM TO ERM, EDUCATE, AS HE PUTS IT."  
  
"Oh, that's just great! Just dump those annoying zombies with us, we don't mind, not at all!" Buffy, hearing the news, was   
a bit cranky.  
  
"EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU ARE TALKING DEATH HERE, REMEMBER THAT? I UNDERSTAND YOU DO NOT LIKE HIM BEING HERE?" He looked around,   
the gang nodded. He sighed. "FINE, I GUESS I CAN SEND SOME HELP. WOULD FIVE WIZARDS BE ENOUGH?" He asked.  
  
Willow looked gleeful. "Wow! Five real wizards! That would be a great help, mister, er, Death!"   
  
"GOOD TO SEE SOMEONE'S THANKFUL. THEY'LL BE HERE IN, SAY, FIVE MINUTES." With that, he dissapeared.  
  
"Tara, did you hear that? Wizards! Think of all the stuff we can learn from them!"   
  
"I know, but wizard and wicca magic is a bit different, and..." Tara tried to slow down Willow enthusiasm.   
  
"Oh, I know that! But you never know."   
  
'Great. First a zombie drops in, then we're getting wizards.' Buffy sighed, and sat down on a couch. 'Oh well, how much   
trouble can five wizards possibly be?'   
  
  
Well, that's chapter one finished. Love it? Loathe it? Let me know! 


	3. Toto, I don't we're on the Disc anymore!

Second chapter. But I guess you already guessed that, huh?  
  
2. "Toto, I don't think we're on the Disc anymore."   
  
And as Death had said, five minutes later five figures dropped on the floor. Four of them looked rather old, the other like   
he was in his twenties. The other big difference was that younger one was skinny, while three of the other four looked   
rather chubby. The fourth one looked like he exercised on a regular basis. The four had impressive beards, while the younger   
one didn't look like he needed to shave in the next few weeks. After a couple of seconds, someone landed on the heap. "Six?   
There's six of 'em!" Buffy said, after the sixth had dropped.  
  
"Gee Buff, good to see you finally got that counting problem under control." After a death-glare from Buffy, Xander decided   
to shut up.   
  
The heap started to move, and the one on top jumped off rather quickly. He was carrying a camera, a small cage filled with   
salamanders, looked rather pale and was wearing dark glasses. Buffy took out her stake, and got ready to kill this vampire,   
but he jumped behind the heap.  
  
"Vait, vait! Do not kill me, I am a black ribbon vampire! I stopped drinking zer B-vord a very lonk time ako."   
  
"Say what?"   
  
"I meant I no lonker drink zer, zer, blood." The vampire replied, obviously uncomfortable with 'zer B-vord'.  
  
"Yeah right! And I'm supposed to believe that!" Buffy was getting more irritated by the minute. Vampires everywhere, but   
could she kill one? Nope.   
  
"I can proof it, younk lady, if you give me vun minute." He produced a certificate from his coat, and gave to Willow, who   
was standing near him.   
  
"'Uberwald Temperance Movement'." She read aloud. "There's some official talk that I can't really understand, but at the   
bottom it says: 'The bearer of this certificate, Mr. Otto Chriek has pledged not to drink blood (or the b-word) again.' It   
has his signateure down here." She looked at the vampire, who was still hidng behind the unconscious heap of wizards.   
"Where's your ribbon then? According to this, you're supposed to carry it whereever you go." The vampire took a black   
ribbon out of his pocket, and showed it to everyone. "Well, he's alright, I think." Willow concluded.  
  
"He's alright? He's alright? He's a vampire! They're evil! Remember MY purpose in life? I kill them, 'cause they kill   
people!" Buffy though a bit about her sudden outburst. "Well, except for Angel, 'cause he has a soul."  
  
Giles had taken the certificate, and was reading it. "Buffy, this looks pretty official, and although I see your point, I   
think we should give this Otto a chance."   
  
Buffy sighed. "Fine."   
  
The vampire smiled. "Zank you. Vould you mind if I took a picture of you? You zee, I am a iconographer." He held his camera   
up. "I take pictures." The gang looked awkward at each other, but decided to go along. "Alright everybody, smile!" He held   
up his cage of salamanders, and the camera clicked. The salamanders emitted a bright flash of light, and when everybody was   
able to see again, Otto was gone.   
  
"I told you we shouldn't trust him! He probably ran off." Xander concluded, when he saw Otto was missing.   
  
Buffy looking at the pile of dust surrounding the camera. "I don't think so, Xand." She pointed at the pile.  
  
"Oh. Well, saves you some time, doesn't it?" Xander said with a smile.  
  
"Vat vere you sayink?" The familiar voice asked behind them.   
  
Xander stared disbelievingly at the vampire. The others seconded it.   
  
"Vat? You are lookink like you never zaw vampire before." He asked.  
  
"Well, the ones we see don't turn back to life." Buffy replied, still wondering how he had gotten back.  
  
"Ah, zat is eazy to ekzplain. In case of emergenzies, like zis vun, I alvays carry a bit of B-vord vit me." He smiled.  
  
"Th-That's certainly a clever solution." Giles said, after calming down from the shock.   
  
"Zank you." He took out the picture, and gave it to Giles. It was like a small painting of the group.   
  
When the heap of wizards began the stir, and the one on the bottom to moan with pain, the group turned to Otto. "So, Otto,   
what's with your friends here, who are they?" Xander asked, pointing to the heap.  
  
Otto looked at it. "Ah yes, zer wizards. Very nice people, I vas interviewing zer Archchancellor, for zer newspaper, and all   
off a zudden, here I am. Quite a zurprise, I can tell you. As far as I know, zey are all wizards." He pointed to the older,   
least chubby one. "That is zer Archchancellor, Ridcully. I do not know zer others, sorry."   
  
The heap started to move more, and muffled sounds came from it. "Who is lying on my bottom? I demand that person gets off   
my bottom immediately!" And "Where am I? Where are we?". The one who Otto had called Ridcully said: "Right. Colleagues, find   
out whoever's on top, and let that one get off us this instance!" And so, the one on top got off, and they all managed to   
stand up, some with a little help. Ridcully had inspected the room, and was now inspecting some of Buffy's crossbows.   
  
"Hey, you can't touch those! They're dangerous!" Buffy warned the older man.  
  
"I should hope so, little girl, otherwise they would be off no use!" He replied and took one out. "Hmm, this looks like a   
good one. Where did you order it?" He tested it on the dummy, and shot it in the head. "Very good."   
  
The other four had wondered off to the shop, two of them sitting in a chair, one other sitting on the floor, and the   
youngest reading some books. "Excuse me, gentlemen, but this is my shop." Giles said. The three nodded to him, and two of   
them continued their discussion, while the other was staring into space. The other one ignored him. Giles looked at Otto in   
desperation, who shrugged.   
  
In the training room Buffy had convinced Ridcully to let go of the bow, and were entering the shop. "I see you've already   
met some off my fine staff," Ridcully announced with glee. He pointed to the two in the chairs. "They're the Dean and the   
Senior Wrangler," And the mention of their title, they nodded. He pointed to the one on the floor. "That's the Bursar." He   
was still staring into space. "Bursar? Bursar! Meet these people, will you!" He shouted to the man, who nodded to acknowledge   
their presence. Ridcully turned to the others. "He's bit cuckoo in the brain, but brilliant when it comes to numbers. And   
the last one is our young researcher, and our Professor in Invisible Writing, mister Stibbons." Stibbons waved a bit,   
still reading.   
  
The Senior Wrangler had gotten up. "Well, now you know who we are, so do you mind telling us how to get home, because it's   
almost dinnertime, you know." He patted on his big stomach.   
  
"Uh, we'd be happy to, but all we know is that Death send you here." Willow stammered, surprised by how these wizards were   
acting.  
  
"Death eh? Leave it to him to send us around wherever he bloody well pleases." Ridcully said. "But that's easily solved,   
men, let's do the ol' ritual!" The others looked a bit glum. Except for the Bursar, who hadn't heared it.  
  
"Sir, I don't mind summoning demons, that's prefectly natural, but Death?" The Dean said, still sitting comfortably.   
  
"And besides, we don't have a fresh egg." The Senior Wrangler added.  
  
"Oh, we don't need that, HEX thinks two tomatoes and a bit of mayonaise are enough." Ponder said, putting the book away.   
  
Buffy looked at Ridcully. "Hex? There's another one of you around here?"   
  
"Oh no, no. HEX is our thinking machine." Ponder replied.   
  
Willow was a bit dissapointed. These guys didn't look like wizards she could learn something from. But now Stibbons had   
mentioned something she knew things about. "Thinking machine? You mean a computer. I didn't know wizards used computers."   
  
Ponder looked surprised. "Computer?" He thought a bit. "It does seem to be an approriate name. How do you know about it?"   
  
"We have similar things in our world."   
  
"OUR world? You mean we're not on the disc anymore?!" The Dean yelled, shocked.  
  
"Yes, Dean, didn't you pay attention? They just said Death had send us here." The Senior Wrangler looked smug.  
  
"You're actually on a planet called Earth." Giles informed them. "It's round, like a ball."   
  
"Round? That's bizarre! You'd fall off." Ridcully stated.  
  
"No, there's thing called gravity, and it keeps us from falling off." Xander explained.  
  
"So, this gravity, is that your god?" Ponder asked, interested in this new planet.  
  
"No, it's a physical thing, it's just there. We don't worship it, it just is." Xander said, not knowing how to explain it   
any further.   
  
"Well, I for one don't take any of this nonsence. A ball-formed planet doesn't make sense, everybody knows that. You'd fall   
off, no matter how many 'gravity' you have. Just sail towards the horizon, little girl, and you'll fall off in no time." The   
Dean wasn't someone who accepted new views easily, and didn't trust any foreigner.   
  
"That's it! I've had with you so-called wizards! You fall from the sky, you try out my crossbows, you sit in chairs like   
you own them, and you just take books!" She grabbed the book from Ponder, who was a bit shocked by this sudden outburst.   
  
"Toto, I don't think we're on the Disc anymore." The Bursar announced, happily.  
  
  
  
And here ends this chapter. Leave your review in the little box below! 


	4. The plot thickens

Chapter three has arrived.   
  
  
3. The plot thickens   
  
  
"He may be crazy sir, but he's definately right." Ponder said to Ridcully.  
  
"Oh really, and how do you know? Trusting these people? They're foreign! They may want to eat us!" The Dean, never keen on   
foreigners, hissed to Ponder.  
  
"No, I noticed by the way they act, these books, this, well, everything!" He waved around the shop. "Nothing like this has   
ever been seen on the Disc! Not even the Agatean Empire is as civilised and has teachnology to create this." He pointed   
outside. "They have cars without horses in front of them. That requires either an ammount of magic so big, it wouldn't be   
possible to have a lot of them, or advanced technology!"   
  
"It's advanced technology." The Senior Wrangler, who had wandered outside, returned with what looked an engine. "See? I took   
that one over there apart, and this looks like technology."  
  
Ponder hurried to him, and took it with something close to worship. "Wow! It's amazing. We must study this. I mean, the   
possibilities are amazing! Think of all the money we can save! You won't need to clean their, um, youknowwhats, and the   
food, the water..."   
  
"Sure lad, but think of all the people who are depending on horses for a living, hey?" Ridcully had taken it from him, and   
threw it outside. "No, we'll stick to horses. But do some more research on this technology, especially those crossbows." He   
and his fellow wizards walked back to the training room.   
  
Giles sat devestated by the ruined pieces of engine. He tried to fit them back together, and whimpered. "They broke it! They   
broke, car, it cost me a fortune!"   
  
Anya patted him on the shoulder. "Look on the bright side, think of all the money you can safe on gas! And I mean, where   
were you driving to anyway? It's not like you have a active social life. And for men your age walking is very good exercise,   
and did I mention..."   
  
"Anya, enough comforting for now." Xander dragged his girlfriend away.  
  
A 'twang' came from the training room, followed by Ridcully saying: "Hmm, no, I don't think that's how this thing works.   
Maybe if I use this device on it..."   
  
Buffy hurried to the back, and found them huddled, once more, around her weapons. "Could you please leave that alone! We   
have a zombie in this town, and we need your help!"  
  
The Dean frowned. "Zombies? Than what's the problem? Vampires I understand, but, oh, nothing personal Otto, you know what I   
mean. Zombies don't cause a lot of problems. They just fall apart from time to time, that's all. They're very nice, once you   
get to know them."   
  
"Well I don't want to get to know them! I want him out of this town so I can kill vampires again like a normal Slayer. And   
you're gonna help me, whether you like it or not!" She glared at the wizards. Ponder looked impressed, but that could be   
because of the new-found technology. The other wizards didn't seem impressed by the girl's temper tantrum.   
  
"What's the problem? I mean, really. It's just one zombie. How much trouble can he be?" The Senior Wrangler asked.  
  
"He wants vampires to stop drinking people's blood!"   
  
"So? I'd think you humans would be happy about that. We certainly are. Otherwise we'd never allow vampires, like Otto, in   
our city."  
  
"Well, it's just that, well," Buffy wasn't able to explain. She looked at Giles, hoping for help.  
  
"I think that what she's trying to tell is that she doesn't trust the zombie, a Reg Shoe, and maybe the vampires will still   
kill us humans.  
  
Ridcully frowned. "Shoe, Shoe, sounds familiar. Wasn't he the one that helped us defeat that big living building a few years   
ago? When everyone stopped dying?" The other wizards nodded. "No wonder you want him out of here. We found him more than a   
bit annoying as well. You'll just let us do the work, little girl, and there will be no more nasty zombies to scare you." He   
smiled to Buffy like you would smile to a ten year old.   
  
"Look, I just want to know how to kill him!" She shouted to Ridcully.  
  
"Kill him? Easy, throw some salt on him, and he'll go back to his grave." The Dean said.  
  
"He hasn't got a grave on this planet, Dean." The Senior Wrangler replied, looking smug.  
  
"Then we'll find some other way. There's bound to be one." The Dean said, confidently.   
  
  
At the Shoe-shed.   
  
"Hello brethren and sisters. I have called this meeting to inform that there is NO mayor in this city! I read some   
newspapers, and did some research, and after the previous one turned into a big snake and killed several people, they didn't   
re-elect one. I say, this is our chance to prove, once and for all, that we CAN be civilised. I propose we start a mayor   
electing campaign." He looked around. "Well, anyone?" Reg waited for someone to answer.  
  
One of the vampires coughed. "I, er, think that it would be best if you would be mayor, since we can't be out in the sun,   
you know, so campaigning would be rather difficult."  
  
Reg scratched his head and lost a couple of fingers. "Hmm, I suppose you are right. Then it's settled. I'll campaign for   
mayor, while you put posters on walls, and things like that." He clapped his hands. "Right. Why don't we end this meeting,   
and come here in three days. I want everyone to think of ways to make the people vote for us!" He eyed two vamps in a   
corner. "And 'threatening to bite them until they vote for us' is not a good plan."   
  
The two grumbled, but nodded. All the vamps went their way.  
  
Spike, wondering what the zombie had done to get Buffy's attention, decided to ask some questions. He went to one of the   
vampires leaving the shed. "I noticed you just left the zombie's shed. Fancy telling me what's you doing in there?"   
  
The vampire looked a little nervous. He knew Spike could kill vampires, and was a bit scared. "Well um, he, the zombie, Reg   
Shoe, he tells us how to make people accept us. You know, so they won't hunt us, and try to kill us. It's very simple,   
according to him. We just try to kill as little people as possible, while we convince people that we can be trusted."   
Noticing no ill effects of his words, he went on. "And Reg is going to campaign for mayor, so we can vote and stuff. It's   
all fair and legal. He said he'd found out how to campaign, and do just that."   
  
Spike nodded, threw the vampire away and went his way. 'So this zombie thinks he can become mayor and destroy years of   
tradition?' He though. He balled his fist. 'Being hunted and killing people is what being a vampire is all about. Scaring   
humans, killing them. Feeding on them. Although I haven't been able to do that, thanks to Mr Chip. On the other hand, being   
accepted by humans, no longer running away...' His mind turned to Buffy. He couldn't convince her that he wasn't that much   
of a threat, even if he couldn't kill humans. She saw him as a predator, looking for a oppurtunity to kill again. He was   
dying, figure of speech, naturally, to get rid of the chip, but to go back to the old ways of killing and torturing? He   
didn't know if he could that. The last months had changed him, and he had learned there were other pleasures than torture   
and death. Like Buffy... Maybe she would found these developments interesting.   
  
  
At the Magic Box.  
  
"You say you know this zombie, could tell us some more about him?" Giles asked. He had invited the wizards to sit down   
around the table, and made some tea.   
  
"Well, we heard about him because one of our wizars turned into a zombie. Windel, the wizard, met him because he had this   
card. Apparently, Reg put cards in coffins, and some undead would come to his meetings. Two vampires, a sort of werewolf   
and a boogeyman. And some other creatures. Anyway, Reg wanted to them to have rights, just like humans, trolls, dwarves, you   
know." Ridcully explained.   
  
Xander stared at him. "Dwarves? Trolls? They have rights?"   
  
Ridcully nodded. "They're valuable to our society. Like I said, he wanted rights, and I think he's trying that again. The   
last time we saw him, he was in this big living building, trying to defeat it. We think he died."   
  
"What do you mean, living building?" Willow asked.   
  
"A couple of years ago, people stopped dying. Lifeforce was everywhere, and eventually, we found city eggs, that turned into   
some great building, like a bee nest. It was a parasite, and we defeated it. And Death was back, since people stopped   
dying." Ridcully explained.   
  
The Senior Wrangler smiled. "It was a lot of fun, fighting those carts, remember Dean?"  
  
The Dean snorted. "All I remember is you saying 'Yo' and stealing the Bursar's staff."  
  
Giles looked outside. "It's turning dark, we have to find you some place to stay. If you promise not to touch anything, do   
you think you could sleep here?"   
  
"Depends. Are there blankets, pillows, things like that?" The Dean informed.  
  
"Not really. I think you can manage with the things in the training room." He looked at the gang. "If all of you leave, I   
can get these wizards some pizza or something, and lock up."   
  
Buffy and her friends started to get up, when someone burst in through the back door.   
  
"Spike, long time no threatening." Buffy greeted the vampire.   
  
"It's serious. Remember that zombie you kicked my arse about?" After a nod from Buffy, he continued. "He's going to run for   
mayor."   
  
"What?!" Xander shouted.  
  
"You heard me. Little ol' corpse wants to run the city. He wants vamps and other monster to vote and have rights. Thought   
you might want to know, and stop him."   
  
"Why would you be against him? He wants you to have rights, just like humans." Willow said.  
  
"That's it. Vampires aren't like humans. We'll always need blood, human blood, and therefore we can never be like you. We   
live in the darkness, you live in the light. There's too much difference. It'll never work. Sooner or later some bad   
vamp'll take over and rule this city, like some sort of dictator."   
  
"I do beg zo differ, mister...?" Otto said.  
  
"Spike."   
  
"Ve vampires zo not alvays need zer B-word. I haf lived without it vor quite a vhile now. I zense no ill effects."   
  
"Trust me, you'll be craving for it soon. If not human blood, probably animal blood."  
  
"Never! I zhall alvays keep my promize not zo drink zer B-word!" Otto said, holding his black ribbon for support.   
  
Spike eyed him up and down. "No wonder you're so skinny. Why bother anyway? Killing's the best part of being a vamp."   
  
"But if you want zo be rezpected and accepted, you haf no choize, trust me. Zer only vay for us vampires to get rezpect, is   
by not drinking zer B-word."   
  
"But that's what makes us vampires! Us not drinking blood is like humans not breathing. We need blood, they need oxygen."  
  
"Zere is differenze. Ve are not a slave, and ve can survive without drinking. Here, read zis." He produced a small booklet   
from his jacket, and gave it to Spike, who started reading it.   
  
"Well, that's nice and all, but it really IS time for you all to leave. Except for the wizards of course. I propose we all,   
except Spike, meet up here. Is that okay?" Giles looked around, to see if anyone would object.   
  
"I haf a small problem. Is zere a small crypt around here I can sleep?"   
  
"Don't worry, you're coming with me. This no-blood thing sounds interesting." Spike said, still reading the booklet.   
  
"Vot a zudden change of mind."  
  
"It makes sense. But only a little."   
  
And with that, night settled over town. All involved were surprised by the events, and no-one had a clue what would happen   
next.   
  
  
Oh lookie, another chappie finished. Don't forget the review, they're important. 


	5. Reg gets competition

4. Reg gets competition.   
  
The next morning, all gathered in the magic shop. The wizards weren't that awake, until they discovered the coffee. This   
caused the Bursar to go a bit hyper, and Ridcully decided it would be best to leave him in the training room. Although Buffy   
was worried about her equipment, she agreed. Getting rid of the zombie was more important than her stuff.  
  
"Right, how do we want to stop Reg? If he's campaigning for mayor, we'd better hurry up."   
Xander stated.  
  
"Damn right. No use having a zombie for a mayor. I can just imagine us having a zombie for a patrician, right Senior   
Wrangler?" The Dean elbowed his colleague.  
  
"Well, we did have that dragon for a queen once."  
  
"Only for a few days. She was arrested. No use, a queen in prison."  
  
"Anyway." Buffy glared at the two wizards. "We have to stop him. Giles, can zombies run for mayor?"  
  
"The law doesn't say zombies can. But it doesn't say they can't either, so it's all legal, I'm afraid." Giles had been up   
all night, looking for a law forbidding zombies to rule Sunnydale. There wasn't one. The closest thing was a rule that   
forbade animals to run for mayor, after a accident when the two candidates got no votes, and someone voted for a donkey as   
a prank.   
  
"So we need someone to run against him, while we figure out how to stop him." Willow suggested.  
  
"Good idea, but who wants to be a mayor in this town? The last mayor turned into a big snake, and we seem to have   
apocalypses happen every year, with vampires and monsters around every corner. I wouldn't want to." Xander made a good   
point.  
  
"Wait, monsters? Monsters you can hunt?" Ridcully shot up. In Ankh-Morpork, where the Unseen University was build, all the   
animals had run away. He had been quite bored lately. "You think the mayor has first right to hunt monsters?"  
  
"Well, I, being the Slayer, am the one who does the actual hunting..." Buffy began, but Ridcully didn't hear her.  
  
"Just imagine. I hunt here, and work here and at the UU. Should be do-able. Mister Stibbons, figure out how to build a   
black hole here, so I can travel from the Disc to here, would you?"   
  
"Oh sure, sir, I'll just get a whole bunch of magic in one place and wait until the hole comes along. And I can tell it   
where to be, so that should be no problem." The cynism in the voice was clear, but not to Ridcully, since sarcasm was a   
word that wasn't in his dictionary.  
  
"Right, you can take care of that then. So, what do you need to do to get mayor around here?"  
Ridcully looked around to the gang, with shining eyes.  
  
  
At Spike's crypt.  
  
"So if I understand correctly, you vamps have pledged not to drink blood, and now people give you jobs?" Spike asked his   
temporary room-mate.  
  
"Vhy, yes, zey do." Otto answered.  
  
"And they trust you? Not to drink their blood?" He continued.  
  
"Vell, some are a little sceptic, but after zey zee ve can be reliable, zhey do trust us."  
  
"Interesting. And you can't drink any blood? Not even animal blood?"  
  
"For zer beginning vampires, zey start with drinking fewer and fewer of zer B-word, and from animals. Never from humans."   
  
"And how many vampires have succesfully stopped drinking?"   
  
"Vell, to my knowledge there at least..." Otto paused to think. "About zhree-hundred in zer city, I believe."  
  
"Three hundred...And they have no trouble not drinking?"  
  
"None. Mister, er, zer Bloody, why all zhese questions?"   
  
"I've been trying to get humans to trust me, but for some reason, she won't. You see, I have this thing in my brain, and I   
can get kill anyone! But she still doesn't trust me." Spike sat down on his coffin.  
  
"Vould this 'she' be blonde and called Buffy?"   
  
Spike's head shot up. "How do you know?"   
  
Otto smiled. "It is obvious. I could see by zer way you act. I vould have to be blind not to. Ve vampires have a zixth   
sense for zer affaires of zer heart."  
  
Spike grumbled. If some stranger could see it, surely others would've noticed it by now. Damn.  
  
  
At the Magic Shop.  
  
"So, all I need to do is register, tell the people to vote for me and that's it?" Riduclly asked.  
  
"Well, that's putting it rather blunt, but yes." Giles said.  
  
"Jolly good." He turned to the other wizards. "Men, we have to work together to make me mayor. I expect all of you will   
show one hunderd percent support!" He turned to the others. "So, how should I convince people to vote for me?"   
  
"You can put on posters." Xander suggested. "They're like big pictures of you, and we can hang 'em up around town."   
  
"And you can hand out cake or something, so people'll see how much you like them." Willow suggested.  
  
"I like the poster idea, and I can see how handing out free food will make people accept you as their leader. It works on   
the wizards, and I've been Archchancellor for years now." Ridcully said, smiling. "Oh and Ponder, make sure you get that   
black hole thing working. We have to use it to send Reg back, and Otto, and ourselves."   
  
Ponder sighed. He had no idea how to get that much magic, and what if there wasn't a powerful magical place near here? If   
only he could use HEX, he'd be able to come up with the answer.   
  
"So you plan to send Reg back to your world? Would that be wise?" Giles asked.  
  
"Why not. We can always throw some salt on him if he gets out of hand." Ridcully replied. "Oh, and we need Otto to take   
some pictures of me, for those poster things. Where is he, anyway? And there's so much to do. I can't wait to be mayor, I'll   
finally hunt properly again."   
  
"Good idea. Willow, Tara, why don't you help Ponder with that black hole thing, I'm sure you can come up with a solution.   
Xander, Anya, get Otto here. We need him for the pictures, and maybe he can help." Giles turned to Buffy. "You can train.   
When Reg's gone, the vampires'll probably go back to their old ways. You need to be prepared."   
  
Tara and Willow took Ponder away, and Anya and Xander left to get Otto. Buffy walked over to Giles. "What about Dawn and   
mum? What if Glory decided to pay them a visit or something?"   
  
Giles nodded. "Good point." He turned to the four remaining wizards. "Why don't you go to Buffy's place, to think of   
campaign plans. I'll call her mother, to tell her your coming."   
  
The wizards agreed, and went on their way. By foot. The Archchancellor had decided the car-technology was not to be   
trusted, so they walked to Buffy's house. A lot of people stared at them, it's not everyday there's four adult men walking   
around in colorful dresses, with all sorts of symbols on them, with pointy hats. And the beards could easily rival with that   
of Santa. The wizards however, ignored this, since they usually ignore normal humans and reached Buffy's house without any   
problems and knocked on the door, which was answered by a surprised Dawn.   
  
"Er, hello? Who are you people?"   
  
"We are the wizards of the Unseen University of Ankh-Morpork, young lady, and we want to get in." Ridcully answered.  
  
"I'm not supposed to let strangers in. And you're pretty strange."  
  
"Look, this man called Giles or something said he would, what did he say, call you, to say we'd be here." The Dean argued.  
  
"Dawn honey, what's wrong?" Buffy's mother asked.   
  
"There's some weird men at the door mum. They say Giles sent them." Dawn replied.  
  
"Are you the wizards of the, what was the university called?" Joyce asked. She had gotten the call, but was just as   
confused as Dawn. Rupert had given a description of what they looked like, and these men did, but she also had to ask where   
they came from, to be safe.  
  
"Of the Unseen University, madam, of Ankh-Morpork. Now can we get in?" Ridcully was getting impatient.   
  
"Sure, come in." Joyce invited them in.   
  
Dawn looked strangely at her mother. "Mum, are you alright?"   
  
"It's okay honey, Mr. Giles just called, saying they'd come here. It's got something to do with a zombie being in   
Sunnydale." Joyce assured her daughter.   
  
The wizards made their way to the living room, and sat down. Ridcully asked Joyce many questions about how to run for   
mayor, and they discussed some plans.  
  
Meanwhile, Anya and Xander were trying to get Otto back to the Magic Shop. Unfortunately, it was a sunny day, so they had   
to cover him up. Spike offered them his blanket, but that didn't really work, since the sun was burning right through it.   
  
"How are we supposed to get him back, if he can't travel?" Xander said, after the blanket proved to be a big unsucces.  
  
Anya was standing outside. "I don't see any clouds, Xander, we'll have to use something else."  
  
"You can use my car, promise not to break it. I dyed all the windows black, no sun's coming through there." Spike offered.  
  
"Why are you being so nice? It's not like you to help us." Xander said, not trusting the offer.  
  
"I'm not helping you two, I'm helping Otto. He's quite nice, and I wouldn't want him dead. He's got some very interesting   
theories that I'd like to discuss with him later."   
  
"Makes sense, you being selfish. Right, we'll take the car."   
  
  
At the ruins of Sunnydale High School.  
  
"Are you sure there's a lot of magic in this place?" Ponder asked the two wiccans.  
  
"Dead sure. This is the Hellmouth we're talking about. It's a portal for demons to come here, so there's bound to be magic   
here." Willow said, walking through the destroyed library.   
  
The school had been utterly destroyed, and after two years, they were starting to re-build it, while cleaning up the remains   
of the library. Since it was saturday, no-one was working and the three were now standing on the closed Hellmouth.  
  
Ponder sniffed the air. "You're right. I can sense there's great magic potential here. All I'd have to do is somehow push   
it together so a black hole'll appear. The problem is to get it to open up in Ankh-Morpork. Do you two have any ideas?"   
  
"There are some theories to travel through dimensions, to get a portal to open, but we haven't got the amount of magic to   
do it. Maybe with your help we can gather the magic to get it to work." Tara said.  
  
"So you have a spell to travel through dimension? Can I see it?" Ponder said eagerly.  
  
Willow produced a book from her bag, and gave it to Ponder. "Page 145."   
  
"Yes, I recognise the principle. It's a lot like Heikelstein's Handy Holiday, a way to travel on one planet. I never   
thought of it this way, but I suppose it could work."   
  
  
  
Hmm, not much of a cliffhanger hey? But oh well, you'll manage. Till next week for the following update, chapter five   
already. 


	6. All goes to plan. Except for some things

OPh look, it's another chapter!  
  
5. All goes to plan. Except for some things.   
  
After a lot of problems revolving the car, and how to drive, Anya, Xander and Otto reached the Magic Shop, and went in using   
Spike's blanket.  
  
"Ah, there you are. Come in." Giles just finished helping a customer, and went over to greet them.  
  
"Yeah, but we had a little help from Spike. He lent us his car, to drive Otto here." Xander said.  
  
"What? He was actually helpful? Quite a surprise." He turned to the vampire. "Otto, there have been some recent developments,   
and we need you to take pictures of Mr. Ridcully, the Archchancellor."   
  
"Oh, zat is alright. I already have some, from zer interview." He gave Giles some small pictures.   
  
"These are good, but we need them bigger, like a piece of paper." Giles said, examining the pictures."   
  
"Bigger? I zo not know if zer imps can do zat."  
  
"Imps? What do you mean?" Xander asked.  
  
Otto took his camera, and opened it. Inside was a tiny green creature, with an easle and some paint. He blinked, with all the   
light coming in. "Zis is a imp. He paints the picture. Very easy." Otto explained.   
  
Giles looked closer. "Fascinating. So these little creatures paint everything you point your camera at?"   
  
"Yes, zat is right."   
  
"Why don't you ask him if he can paint the picture a bit bigger." Xander suggested.  
  
"Good idea. Excuse me, Stenkh. Vould you come here vun minute?"   
  
"What's it this time?" The imp replied, taking out a tiny pipe and began smoking it.   
  
"Vell, I vus wondering if you could paint zer picture a bit bigger." Otto asked.  
  
"Depends. It takes more time, and I'll need a bigger box. And the object will have to sit still the whole time."   
  
"That won't be a problem, Mr Stenkh, we just want you to paint this picture." Giles showed the imp the picure of Ridcully.   
"Only a little bit bigger."  
  
"How d'you want it?" The imp said, looking at the picture.  
  
"About this big." Giles held up a piece of paper.  
  
"About a foot by half a foot." The imp nodded. "Should be doable. Know what, give me some more paint, a bigger box and some   
time, and I'll have your picture ready in no time. D'you want just one?"   
  
"Why don't you make five to begin with, and we'll see how they turn out." Giles suggested.   
  
Otto and the imp went to find a bigger box and some paint. Otto returned and was quite happy to announce that the imp had   
started painting.  
  
  
At Buffy's house.   
  
"Mister Ridcully, have you registered yourself as a candidate?" Joyce asked the Archchancellor.  
  
"Register? What for? I just tell the people to vote for me and that's it." Ridcully answered.  
  
"But if you don't register it's against the law to run for mayor."   
  
"It is? Even for wizards? Then I'd better register soon. Where do you do this?"  
  
"As far as I know, at townhall, but..."  
  
"Then let's go. Wizards, you stay here, I'll go and register." Ridcully stood up and walked outside. Joyce decided to go   
with him, in case he might cause trouble.   
  
The wizards and Dawn sat in an awkward silence. She stood up. "Uhm, I'll have to do my homework, it's math and complicated.   
You three, just don't break things, okay?"   
  
"Good. And remember little girl, we're wizards, so if you have any questions about this math, come and ask us." The Dean   
said, smiling.   
  
"Uh, sure." Dawn, inwardly vowing not to ask anything, went upstairs.  
  
  
At the school.  
  
"I think I'm gonna need Penkelman Pocus Pusher, to get the magic balled together. When I'm done, a black hole'll appear, and   
then we need to do your spell. Are you ready?" Ponder asked. Tara and Willow nodded. Ponder took a piece of parchment, and   
began reading some words the two wiccans couldn't understand. But they felt the magic, all around them, heading for Ponder.   
The parchment began to glow bright blue, and Ponder stopped talking and smiled. "Right ladies, your turn."   
  
"In the name of the Goddess, grant us our plead." Willow said.  
  
"Make this magic a portal, for the place we want to head." Tara continued.   
  
"The Unseen University of Ankh-Morpork is our destination."   
  
"A center of manipulation."  
  
"On the Discworld is lies, travelling through space."   
  
"We almost forget to mention, it's a really weird place." Both Tara and Willow threw some glittery powder on the blue   
parchment, and it crumbled to ash. The pieces began to swirl, and formed a black hole in the ground.  
  
"We did it!" Willow screamed and examined the hole.  
  
"How do we know it heads to the Discworld?" Ponder asked.  
  
"You can go and test. You are from the Discworld, so you should know." Tara suggested.  
  
"I'll just have a little peek then." Ponder took his hat off, and sat on the floor. He took a deep breath, and put his   
head in the hole. He popped out pretty soon, and gave a thumbs up sign. "It's definitely our University. We're the only ones   
with a orang-utan for a librarian." Ponder said, putting his hat back on.  
  
"Let's call Giles, to tell him the good news." Willow said and the trio went to look for a pay-phone.  
  
  
At the magic shop.  
  
"You know, these posters look pretty good. Just like the real thing." Xander was looking at one of Ricully's campaign   
poster.  
  
"Giles, we're not really letting Ridcully run for mayor, are we?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Of course not! We'll let him lure Reg to the black hole, and push him through. After that, the wizards and Otto will go   
through as well, and life can get back to normal." Giles explained.  
  
"So we're not getting a new mayor?" Anya asked.  
  
"Not if everything is going to plan." Giles answered.  
  
"Good. Then Xander can run for mayor."  
  
"What?!" Xander cried out. "No WAY I'm running for mayor in THIS place. Anya, you have got to be kidding."  
  
"Leave the argument for later, would you?" Buffy glared at the duo. They stopped.  
  
  
Townhall.  
  
Ridcully and Joyce were having some trouble registering.  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, but you have to be an American to run for mayor."  
  
"The zombie wasn't an American! Reg isn't from here!" Ridcully yelled to the secretary.  
  
"Mr. Shoe is not a zombie, sir, and unless you can prove you're an American, you can not run for mayor. Now could you please   
leave?"  
  
Joyce took Ridcully outside, he was still muttering, when he sat down on a bench outside.  
  
"Tell me, how does one become an American?" He asked.  
  
"There are several ways, but most of them take a long time, so most foreigners marry an American to get the nationality."   
Joyce said.  
  
Ridcully thought for a while. "Jolly good. We'll do that."  
  
"Do what?"  
  
"Marry. You're an American, right?"  
  
Joyce didn't know what to say...  
  
  
Ye gods! It's an actual cliffhanger! *snif* I'm so proud of myself. 


	7. Let's wrap this up, with a nice ribbon.

Yes, another chappie so soon, didn't expect it, did you? Well, let's say I wanted to finish this story quicker than planned.  
I had some ideas for another crossover, and it involves the wizards and Harry Potter. Scary, hey?  
  
  
6. Let's wrap this up, with a nice ribbon.   
  
On their way home, Ridcully kept insisting on marriage. In his view, it was the best option, but Joyce didn't agree. When   
they reached home, Dawn was in the livingroom, doing her homework, with the Bursar helping her, while the other two wizards   
were in the kitchen.   
  
"Hi mom!" Dawn greeted. "Yeah, he's helping me with Math. He's a bit crazy, but he knows how to explain this to me. The   
others are probably eating. They have been for the past half hour."   
  
Joyce smiled. "Good for them." She looked at Ridcully. "I'll call Giles, see if anything has come up."   
  
  
At the magic shop.  
  
"Oh, hello Joyce. Didn't get to register? Oh, that's okay, we just need Ridcully to convince Reg to come to the old school,   
so we can get them to their world. He asked you to what? No, don't worry, you won't have to marry him. Just send them here.   
Oh, the Bursar's helping Dawn? Okay, send her here, then he can help her while we're waiting." Giles hung up. He looked at   
Buffy and the others. "That was you mother. She'll send the wizards and Dawn here."  
  
"Dawn? Why should she be here?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Oh, the Bursar's helping her with Math. I thought she could do it while we're waiting until it's 10 PM. Which reminds me,   
Buffy, you need to tell some vampires about this, so they can tell Reg." He thought for a moment. "At dusk, go out and tell   
the vampires to tell Reg to meet Ridcully at the old school. Make up some reason. After that, make sure Reg does go. We'll   
go to the school with the wizards and Otto." He gave her the five Ridcullyposters. "Put these up around the graveyard, so   
he'll believe it."   
  
Buffy took them and went out.   
  
"All we can do now is wait for the wizards to come here, so we can go to the school together." Giles said.   
  
  
At the graveyard.   
  
Buffy had put up some posters, and was now looking for a vampire. She was getting tired of this, she hadn't been able to   
hunt properly for a few days. A vampire jumped out in front of her, but instead of attacking him, she gave him a poster.   
"Here. Vote for Ridcully as your new mayor! Tell your friends to come to the old highschool at 10 PM, where he'll give a   
speech!" When she saw the vampire's astonished face, she added: "Free coffee with cake for all, spread the word!" And walked   
away. The vampire didn't know what to do, but decided to got to Reg.  
  
  
"So this Buffy gave this to you and said Ridcully was running for Mayor?" Reg asked the vampire.   
  
"Yes, brother Shoe." He answered.   
  
"Interesting. I know Ridcully, and he always likes a fair game, so it's no surprise. Why don't we go and see what he has to   
say. I should see what the opponent is up to." He smiled.  
  
At the magic shop, the wizards had arrived, and at 9.45 PM, they headed for the old school, on foot, naturally. Dawn wasn't   
allowed to come, but she was glad she finally understood some math, and was happy to go home.   
  
They reached the school a little early, and walked towards the black hole. Giles examined it as well. "Well, I've got to   
hand it to you, it's still here."   
  
Willow looked at her watch. "Let's hope it is in five minutes."  
  
Ponder suddenly thought of something. "We'd better tell the Librarian we're coming through the hole in a few minutes. He   
doesn't like suprises."  
  
"Well thought of, lad." Ridcully slapped him on the back. "You go tell him then."  
  
Ponder sighed, and stuck his head through the hole. He emerged a few seconds later. "He'll put some cushions underneath."  
  
At 10 PM precisely, Reg showed up with his gang of vampires. "Hello Ridcully. Never thought you and I would be competitors,   
did you?"  
  
Ridcully, who had been informed about the plan, smiled. "Never did. Now Reg, why don't you come a bit closer, so you can   
hear my wonderful speech a bit better?"   
  
Reg stepped forward, in front of the group, and this was what the wizards had been waiting for. Quickly, the Dean and the   
Senior Wrangler grabbed Reg, dragged him to hole, and pushed him through and jumped after him. The Archchancellor pushed   
Ponder through, and followed him. The Bursar, curious about this hole, jumped through as well. And last but not least, Otto   
and his iconograph dived in the hole.   
  
The vampires, suddenly without their leader, looked surprised, and a bit scared.   
  
Buffy smiled, a bit evilly. "So, let's begin the party, shall we?" And jumped forward, to stake the first vampire.  
  
  
  
So, that's this story wrapped up, and as Otto would say: "Zer end!" Hope you enjoyed it. 


End file.
